Change the way U think about Change!

I get attached not only to the people around but also to the things I use, the place where I stay! So it didn't quite come as a surprise to my family members when I was reluctant in giving away my old laptop. 

“Its old and its battery backup is 0. Get rid of it“, exclaimed my brother.

 “I can’t. It has been with me all through my engineering years. And it still works. Isn’t that a reason good enough to keep it?” I revolted. 

“Not at all. You have been struggling with its battery, low hard- disk space and what not. A new one will  surely ease all your problems” he replied.

I knew he was correct but my heart didn’t want to let go off the laptop. I was susceptible to change.

Contrary to the personality traits of my sun sign, I am someone who completely hates change. I would never welcome a change in my life. Rather I would search for 100 reasons to avoid it. How much ever jaded I am with my mundane life, I would never dare to experience a change.

To me I come across as a very smart girl who has the acumen in dodging the changes but if I sit back and contemplate I realize I am a dimwit to have believed that.  How much ever you believe that you don't want to change your life you will realize that eventually you hardly have any control over what happens.

“Change Is Inevitable”

It’s strange that every day we feel life is the same. Just like yesterday and will remain very much the same tomorrow. With every passing day nothing seems to have changed but when we look back in the past, we realize everything has changed!

Although I have been so unwelcoming towards changes, the truth is that the changes in my life have kept me moving. 

I have juggled between the 2 cities for almost 5 years. From Mumbai to PUNE (2006), PUNE to Mumbai (2010), Mumbai to PUNE (2010) and then finally from PUNE back to the city I love the most MUMBAI (2011). Every time I changed my city there was a new reason, a new purpose and as a result a new life which somehow worked for me! I didn’t realize but with the same routine, the same prosaic life one starts getting irritated. 

So coming back to where we started the laptop saga. After getting my new Netbook, I feel change happens for good! Now I don’t have to bother about the battery, about the disk space, the volume etc. Owing to the change ,Life is much easier now.

To summarize: 'Only when you get rid of the old debris, will you get some vacant place to build a new house.'  Sometimes you need to accept the change to move ahead in your life. Change always comes into your life for good. Sometimes you fail to understand it that moment but few days and months down the lane you will totally accept it. :)

A lil space... is all V need

In case you are a 20 something girl living in India, not dating anyone, done with your graduation, settled in a pretty good job and trying to figure out what next you want to do then for the people around you an alarm starts ringing loud!

Suddenly the entire world around you wants to find you a suitable match. Relatives, distant relatives, family friends, your neighbors, everyone is constantly delivering a harangue on why it is the best time for you to get married. And even a little delay in groom hunting would mean you losing out the good guys in your community.  Leaving aside what you or your parents want; everyone out there associated with you feels, it’s their moral responsibility to search a groom for you.

A few days back I attended a religious event. There I met my granny’s friend. This lady is an outspoken and a jovial woman.  Don’t go by her age cause she has a personality which will leave you astonished. Anyways, coming back to the point, I exchanged greetings with her and was back again concentrating on GOD.  My idea of spirituality is to think of GOD in solitude and peace.  But this lady was interested in the breaking the tranquility of my mind. She began interrogating about a few random things and suddenly out of nowhere started blabbering about a guy who stays in her neighborhood and how she thought we could have been a perfect match for each other. At that instant, to a perplexed, baffled me what happened a moment back seemed quixotic!

With all due respect I admire the old lady for her concern but it’s time we give the young generation a chance to make their choice with respect to when and what they want to do in their lives. Be it choosing a career, choosing a life partner, or deciding when they want to get married, it’s important these decisions be left to the individual. I am totally for the idea of Arrange Marriage but I fail to understand the pressure that the society builds around the youngsters. Having an opinion about things is good but forcing your opinion is a strict no no.

Why can’t an individual decide when he/she wants to get married? Why do we not understand that age can’t be a factor in deciding if the person is ready to take that big step? It’s an individual’s choice. The Indian Constitution has shouldered us with a very big responsibility: The Right to Vote. Hence, it means that at our age, we are sensible enough even to decide if we are ready to get married or not!  

I am sure most of you have one such relative who is worried about your marriage more than you and your parents. But I have a big bunch of them to be handled. All my attempts in making them understand that right now I have better things to do in my life than get married have gone in vain.  However, with the times that have passed I have somehow become immune to their questions, concerns and proposals.

Being immune to this pressure is not the correct way out. We need to get free from this burden. So that we are able to live our lives in the ways that best suit us. So that we explore our lives and have the correct frame of mind. And eventually get married when we are actually ready for it emotionally, mentally, financially.

Life in the absence of Love - Part2

Sun rays had started penetrating through the windows into the room. However, Rashi didn’t show any signs of movement. She looked just like a princess. There was serenity and tranquillity in that moment. Who could have imagined the same Rashi had a horrendous emotional outburst last night? No one could have ever imagined she was so broke from inside?

The past 6 years had been anything but simple for her. Her love for him had crossed the boundaries of life and death, had crossed the boundaries of right and wrong. There was not a single day when she did not remember him. She had to move on and Raghav had given her a reason to do so. 

She worked as a brand manager in one of the top Indian companies. A through professional that she was, she never let her team members get away with anything but perfection. This tough and smart business woman never let the world witness the broken Rashu inside!  

Suddenly the breeze started flowing in. Curtains started to sway with the wind. Rashi was awake by then but felt just too lazy to get out of the bed. Like every other day she started imagining her mornings with Raghav. If he would have been alive, every morning she would have greeted him with a morning kiss and scrumptious parathas his favourites, for breakfast. She would have gone for an early morning walk with him. She would have fought with him of not spending much time with her. She would have scolded him of not taking good care of his health. She would have loved him like there was no tomorrow. But the fact was he had gone. He had gone too far to come back into her life again. He was somewhere in the heaven monitoring her every moment closely. Helping her out in the tough times she faces.  He was her angel taking care of all her needs time and again.

“It’s 7.30 already and we are late!” exclaimed Ria. Sprinkling some water over Rashi’s face, she brought Rashi out of her dream world immediately. Irritated Ria said “Because of you I get late every day!  Now will you please get ready quickly? You have just 20 mins”. Without wasting a single minute Rashi rushed to freshen up.  Twenty minutes later Rashi and Ria were ready to leave home.  They stood near the bus stop. As the bus arrived, Ria got into the bus and Rashi bid her good bye. “Good Bye Mom. Love you”, screamed Ria out of her school bus.

A month after Raghav’s death, Rashi realized she was pregnant with Raghav’s child. There was a lot of pressure from her family to abort the child. But Raghav’s last words kept coming back to her. She soon realized this child was the gift he was talking about. His last gift before he left. His gift that she should take care of. Raghav knew Rashi would never let anybody take his place. So, this was his way of making sure she lived her life without him but with someone who was a living symbol of their love, with someone who stands out as her support system in the times that were to come.

That someone was Ria. Ria had truly given direction to Rashi’s life. She gave her a new hope to live, to survive, to be happy, and to love Raghav by loving her!  Ria the Love child was the answer to all the doubts in the chapters of Love. It was the Ultimate Gift from a lover to his love. To let his love, live her Life in the absence of Love!

Life in the absence of Love - Part1

This is a short story  about Raghav, Rashi and Ria spread across 2 parts. This story is about Life in the absence of love!

She was no longer able to feign sleep. She had done that enough. For the nth time that night, she checked the time but it seemed like the clock had stopped ticking. Even after so many years, he wouldn’t let her sleep. She looked out and all she could see was darkness. In a lot of ways the darkness outside was equivalent to the turmoil within her.  Suddenly it started pouring and with the rains, she remembered him even more.  He had taught her how to love rains and love him in the rains. Everything had gone when he left but his memories kept hovering all the time.

She was befuddled thinking when will she live a normal life again? It was almost 6 years that she had laughed with him, touched him, kissed him, felt his touch. She had a flashback of the times they had spent together. She had always been a quiet girl but when with him there was no end to her thoughts. When with him, everything else used to take the back seat. For her, he was her entire world!

But she says “He didn’t love me enough as, I loved him. Or else he would have never left me”. He had left her, to face the world all on her own. He had left her to live a life, of which he had become an inseparable part. He had left her and this was the truth. The bitterness of reality made sure that every passing day was a tough exam for which she wasn’t prepared. Atleast not when he wasn’t around to teach her. She kept thinking about him like she did on every night that had passed in these 6 years and with his thoughts she went off to sleep again.

Raghav and Rashi were college sweethearts. They met in the Management College and it was very much love at first sight for both of them. He was the college hunk and she was the shy and simple girl of their batch. But there was something that brought them together. And once they got together, there was no looking back. The 2 years of management studies flew in no time and companies had started pouring in for placements. They couldn’t get enough of each other and they wanted to be together soon. They had planned to get engaged the very next day after college got over. 

But life had some other plans for them. Raghav’s mom who’s both kidneys had failed was on dialysis since a long time.  Her health had deteriorated to a great extent. Doctors had given up on her. Raghav’s dad asked him to come home the very next day. For a few minutes he had gone numb. It was the phone’s ring that jolted him back to reality. On the other side of the phone was Rashi.  She was very tensed and was trying to reach him since an hour.  As soon as he heard her voice he couldn’t control his tears. She sensed something was wrong and rushed to his hostel room.

He hugged her tight and wept. He sobbed like a child. He knew he was losing his mom soon. She was the one who had sacrificed a lot with a dream to see him as a successful man one day. He regretted of not having spent time with her, not being by her side when she needed him. After some time Raghav had gained control of himself. Rashi booked an early morning flight to Lucknow for the next day and ordered dinner from their favourite food joint. After dinner, Raghav just laid on her lap. He kept thinking about Rashi. What if he lost her too. He would literally die. Life was so unpredictable he thought. “I don’t want to loose you Rashu”, he said to her. She kissed him and replied “don’t worry I will always be with you”. He kissed her back and they made love. He said,”Rashu, this is my gift to you before I leave”.

And the next morning he left. He left to come back never again. Before he could reach the Airport his car was crushed by a truck. The news of his demise, shattered Rashi completely. His last words kept coming back to her. "Rashu , this is my gift to you before I leave"..............................................................

to be continued.........