Wednesday, 25 June 2014

The dilema of concluding.... If he is the one?

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It was one of those lazy monotonous afternoons where I did not have anything much to do and Internet had come to my rescue. I was doing the usual internet surfing, when I found this article: It points to some 15 signs that could help you in concluding if he is the one. Surprisingly, I did go though the article although the title sounded cliched.  Accept it or not, Love still intrigues most of us. You might be how many ever relationships old you can never play a safe bet on anyone. With Love every experience is a new one.

It is always easier for me to tell what I do not want than explaining what I want. It is easier to point out what might definitely not work for me than pointing what would definitely work. As I pondered over the pointers in the article, each point on the list seemed important and a must have but when combined, the list looked unrealistic. Come on! it is too much to ask for in today's time.

When I try to match the qualities with the eligible guys I know, I come to the conclusion that finding those 15 points in one guy is next to impossible. Mr X might have always treated me equal and never put me down but he has never stood up for me! Mr Y might remember the little things about me but he loses his cool too often. Mr Z goes out of his way to make me feel special but never understands if something is bothering me. 

Gosh! when GOD could make almost perfect girls like me, why could he not make for us some almost perfect guys... :P

Anyways, coming back to finding if he is the one. I have derived a method to conclude. I know it might sound funny but really do not under estimate its power. What you need to do is sit with a pen and paper. On the paper mark two columns Good and Bad.

Start listing his good & bad things under the respective columns. Also, depending on its importance give each quality certain points. (High Priority=100 points; Medium Priority=50; Low Priority=10)
So for good qualities if a certain quality is important to you give 100 points and if certain good quality is not that important to you give lower points either 50 or 10.
Similarly for bad qualities if a quality he possesses is something you strongly do not wish for in a life partner than put higher points against that and for bad qualities you could do away with put lower points.

At the end total up the good and bad columns. For the right guy the grand total of 'Good' should always be as high as possible and the grand total of 'Bad' should always be as low as possible.

If the grand total of 'Bad' column is much higher than the 'Good' column than it is an outright NO for the guy.
If the grand total of 'Bad' column is almost equal to the 'Good' column than it is a gamble.
If the grand total of 'Bad' column is much lesser than the 'Good' column than it is a YES for the guy.

Analysis for an imaginary person 'X'

I am someone who is very practical and uses her head even in matters of heart. But truly speaking one cannot be this calculative in matters of heart. Hence, don't let your decision be the outcome of any analysis. Use them just as methods to summarize. Remember Mr Right is just a Right decision away!
 ~~Love isn't finding the perfect person, it's seeing an imperfect person perfectly~~


  1. बहुत अच्छे नेहा जी
    Good work.
    बहुत ही अच्छी तरह से आपने explain किया हैं.

  2. Hahahaha Neha - good one. I was just thinking that this method is not the best when I cam to the end of your post and saw that you had come to the same conclusion. Truly nobody's perfect, not even me or you, so it boils down to whose shit you're willing to put up with and what attributes are a deal breaker for you.

  3. Well synchronized 15 points, considering your point of view ... i guess you are quite reasonable for your Mr. Right ... :)

  4. Woopp.. I never thought that someone can explore a tiny topic this much beautifully. Will be following this author on IndiBlogger. Its really hard to find something like this today. Loving it..

    1. Thanks for the kind words... I hope I live up to the expectations of readers like.

  5. Interesting post, very nicely written…what I want to say is that sometimes we miss the right person because of wrong timing. I have a friend who liked this girl in his class, generally he is a confident outgoing person, but whenever he tried to approach her he went blank and totally lost himself. He was just not him in front of her. When I asked him what went wrong, he was like “I don’t know”. He said that he never felt like this before, so nervous, so scared, so out of control as if he was mesmerized by her. He totally embarrassed himself in front of her. Unfortunately he never got the chance to make things right as that girl left the classes soon after. I know he liked her a lot and he would have treated her like a princess if they would have been together. I don’t know whether this girl knew about his feelings but what I know is that she missed her Mr. Right because of wrong timing, well it’s not her fault though but still. And about my friend, well even though he still gets embarrassed by those memories, still he considers it as one of the magical movement of his life.(things people say in love sometimes is beyond common man’s understanding :-P). For now, we can just hope and pray that he gets a chance to make things right. Just to finish things up I would like to share a quote
    “I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because you’re combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”- Lisa Kleypas